Joy of Photography

Last night at the Giants game, a film crewman captured me doing one of my favorite things to do in this whole wide world - taking pictures, namely taking a picture of Barry Bonds up at the plate at a baseball game against the Arizona Diamondbacks. I have always enjoyed taking pictures, especially with my digital camera since last year, and I enjoy sharing my life with friends via shared online webpages that add life and color to the dialog I share with them in snapshots of the life of Maile. Friends have complimented me on my picture taking, and have said that I have "a creative eye" for photography. It has become my creative outlet one in which I can spread a little joy and add a bit of pop-punch to everyone's life, including mine.

SF Weekly Cancer Horoscope

"An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all," said author Elbert Hubbard. I don't know if I would go quite that far, but I do like the notion that the best ideas are disruptive to the status quo. Your mission in the coming weeks, Cancerian, is to flirt with and even embrace ideas like that--revolutionary perspectives that tend to undermine the way things have always been done and usher in fresh approaches to living the good life. For inspiration, you might want to check out The World Question Center (http://snipurl.com/lpik), which is collecting answers to the question "What is your dangerous idea?"

~ I'm ALL about dangerous ideas!! Ha! ;) ;)

Friends Like That

Thank goodness for friends who let you be your silly little self, who make you laugh out loud til you cry when you're pissed off at the world, who listen to all your neuroses without making you feel like a total weirdo, who laugh with you and not at you at your quirks that only a special few get, who give you enlightening perspective and help you see the good in the bad and the silver lining on every cloud. Thank goodness for friends like that, thank you for stepping into my world when somebody up there thought I needed you. Thank you.

Evolution of Work Travel

After I entered the real world following graduation, I started my first real job, worked hard and started taking vacations, discovering Southwest Airlines and all the places I could go on a cheap airfare. I went to New Orleans, Seattle, St. Louis, Chicago, San Diego and Orlando for vacation and to visit friends across the country. Then, I thought I'd start training in a job that would entail a lot of on-the-job traveling. I figured if I wanted to see the rest of the U.S., why not do it for work and then play.

I started a map of the U.S. with pins inserted in all the places I visited across the U.S., and there were many pins after awhile mostly along all of our coasts. Pretty soon I was gone 75% of the time traveling for work, gone every week, living out of a suitcase, getting mixed up in timezones, walking in a daze from gate to gate from airport to airport. It was fun at first, figuring out what was fun to do in all my stops, visiting friends on regular intervals, finding out which restaurants were the best in town. Then, after two years, I was burnt and did not want to see another airplane for as long as I lived.

Next, I took a job where my air travel was minimal and I was given a company car since my sites were local in the Bay Area and the most I drove was 3 hours to Fresno. This was the life, no more planes, I could drive everywhere, spend more time at home, explore places in the Bay Area I hadn't seen yet, clear my head, play my CDs. A few more frequent flyer miles and 20,000 miles later in my Chevy Impala and I was ready for yet another change. Now I am in an office job where I am in the office the majority of the time, travel is next to none at this point. Now, I kind of miss those planes. Hee hee. The grass is always greener on the other side, and I am never satisfied. ;)

Cooking Kick

I don't know if it's the lingering rainy season we're having or if it's just a thing I'm going through, but I have been on a cooking kick lately, I want the oven on, I want water boiling, I want to eat lots of vegetables and fruits. I made swiss chard and white bean soup this past weekend, and I picked up a recipe for asparagus frittata that I'm planning to make next weekend, and I just made fettucini with artichoke-lemon-tomato sauce and a batch of truffle chocolate brownies. Maybe Giuliano is influencing my need to be domestic in his own way. Hungry? :)

Green Italia Jacket

I have been wishing and hoping for a jacket from Italy, not anything of fashionable design, but a sporty sweatshirt-type zip-up kind that is comfortable and colorful and says ITALIA is great big letters maybe with a little Italian flag on it. I may have the opportunity to go to Italy later this year, but this is something I wanted now. On Saturday, I found myself in a vintage clothing store in Berkeley just toodling around not really looking for anything in particular...and there it was hanging on the rack!! A green zip-up with a yellow and red border with ITALIA in little embroidered yellow letters with the Italian flag below it, it was in a small, and oh so perfect!! Even though I told myself I was going to cut back on expenditures and not buy anymore jackets or wintery-type clothes, I HAD to get this, like it was meant for me!! I washed it tonight and it is proudly lying flat drying - I can't wait to wear it!!

4/23/06 - I wore this jacket today while walking around San Francisco, and a man walking the opposite way while we both crossed the street looked at me, two fingers up in a peace sign and said, "Peace, Italia!!" I was thrown off a little at first, but smiled big for him in appreciation.

Basketball Diaries

Years ago, Robert and I each bought basketballs at Costco because they were on special and they both had a self-pump that we thought was really cool. Robert teased me that I'd probably never use that basketball, and I childishly retorted, "Yes, I will, you just see!" It lived with me fully pumped and shiny-new in Oakland and then moved with me to San Francisco and lived with me here for the past year and half still fully pumped and shiny-new, still hasn't touched the surface of a basketball court or blacktop. I think I bounced it around inside in one of my homes at one time for about 5 seconds, every so often Robert would tease me and ask if I've used the basketball yet, and I'd reply with a little "no..." and giggle "but I will, you'll see!"

I spent Easter Sunday with Robert today, and we went into a sporting goods store looking for something. Robert later told me he wanted to buy a basketball because his got stolen - "Ok, you can have mine", I said. A smile crept up on his face, "Have you used it?" "No..." hee hee. So it went from Costco in the east bay to Oakland to San Francisco and it will soon be going back to Robert in the east bay when he comes to pick it up - that basketball has traveled and moved more than some people - ha! Maybe I will go out to the sidewalk one day and bounce it around a little, maybe write my name on the side with a little heart just to show that it was mine for awhile. Hee hee.

Unwritten - by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your innovations
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open

I Believe I Can Fly - by R. Kelly

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

Chorus
If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence, it can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me

Chorus

A Year's Difference

It has almost been a year exactly since Giuliano met on that bright, sunny day in Costa Rica. A year, it seems like longer with everything we have been through together already. I remember that period so well too because that's when Tom Cruise and Kate what's-her-name started dating and became public at some awards thingy in Italy, and I remember watching it on TV in Costa Rica and feeling my jaw drop down to the floor with complete and total shock. Yes, they have been publicly dating for a year too. But look at them, they're having a baby, not even married yet and have the world scratching our heads wondering what is up with their relationship mixed in with Scientology - hmmm...anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yes, so Giuliano and I have known each other on this planet for almost a year now. Unbelievable how much a year can make a difference in one's life. I am preparing to embark on the biggest adventure of my life with someone very special and close to my heart who a year ago, I didn't even know existed, had no idea that this person would impact my life the way he did. And he did, he sure did.

All I Have

If I could, would I be able to just leave with just the clothes on my back? - because everything I see around me could virtually be replaced, do I have a need for any of this really? Clothes, DVDs, CDs are representative of what I was yesterday, two years ago, a decade ago or more - that person is lightyears away from what I am now, what represents me. It is all just "stuff". Just want to throw it all out and start all over again, anew and fresh.

Outside of the Gym Box

I was tired of going to the gym looking at those same walls with the TV playing something I was not really interested in. I even changed my walking pattern to the gym through various streets in the financial district; that worked for awhile. The rain ceased for a little bit this afternoon so I decided to venture out and walk around town as I have not done in awhile. I walked all the way up Polk Street towards Fisherman's Wharf where I looked around at Cost Plus and bought some white tea that I read is good for the body. Then I walked all the way up Columbus through North Beach by all the Italian restaurants and cafes, stopped at Stella Pastry Caffe that I recently read about, bought a mixed berry tartlette to go and a decaf mocha. Then I walked down Stockton through Chinatown by all the bustling Chinese bakeries and dim sum shops, and then to home by Grace Cathedral where the cherry blossoms are so pretty this time of year. Wonder how many miles I put on my sneakers today? Anyway, maybe I'll try to do that on weekends when it's nice out, a scenic variation of the treadmill and stairmaster.

Trust Held High

Finding people you truly trust is like finding gold, people who you can confide in with your innermost feelings and not fear that it is going to be used against you or in any way to your detriment, that person understands in which not many people can, not only agrees but confirms because it is coming from the heart from somewhere within that is tender and vulnerable. This person is your comrade in life for now, for awhile, forever and that is as good as gold if not better as it is such a rare find. I know there are good people out there, but to find those people with whom you connect with in that special way should be acknowledged and held in your hands raised up to the skies to the gleaming sun casting rays down to you warming your face.

Happy in my Own World

It has been a month since I have been back from Costa Rica, and although I have been going through some changes with my new job, I am quite content in my new perspective on life. I am going to work Monday through Friday and my schedule is pretty set and moving, but on the weekends, I am completely content hanging out at home, doing my thing around town, running my little errands, taking care of myself and my little place in life. I don't need to be running around unnecessarily, and I will only do what I want to do, not answering to anyone but myself, and choose to speak to and spend time with whom I want because I enjoy it. All negativity and anything that drains my energy beyond what I am willing to tolerate will be quickly pummeled and gone. Peace, out.

My New Favorite Quotes

"Luck is the residue of design." - unknown

"You are my little chocolate." - Giuliano to me today

"Life would be wonderful anywhere with you." - Giuliano to me today

My sweetie! :)

Giving Up the Comfort Zone

Sometimes you have to take a risk and make a change in your life, especially if you're not happy with your present circumstances and you've done all you can to try to make it better, to try to tolerate it. Look for alternatives that better suit your goals, where you want to be, and the kind of people you want to spend your time with. With everyday, I am more grateful for the decision I made to move to my present company. My time here is tentatively limited and I don't know how long I'll be here, but my officemate, Maria, sure makes it all worth my while. Thank you.

Old Co-workers Help Close the Door

I had dinner with my old co-worker Judy tonight while she was in town for a work meeting, staying at a local hotel within my view. Just so I could check out the beautiful Fairmont Hotel, I went into the hotel lobby with her, and then I ran into a couple of other old co-workers who were from my immediate area, my area team, whom I didn't get around to emailing after I left that job in a hurry.

Everything happened so fast during those last few days, then I left for Costa Rica and then I started my new job that only in the last few days have I actually had a chance to catch my breath and catch up with my thoughts, thoughts that I need to email some people to tell them what happened and what I've been up to. Well, here were two of them right in front of me! They were equally surprised and happy to see me, wanting to know what was up only knowing bits and pieces. I filled them in and told them about my grandiose plans, helping the cycle come to a full close - funny how life tumbles and turns and happens just the way it's supposed to!

Minimizing for the Future

Over the next 6 months, I am saving up my money for the move of my life. Knowing that I need to minimize my belongings as well, I am not stopping by Pier 1 Imports, CostPlus or Crate & Barrel for home decor items, I am not buying books from Borders or Barnes, and I am waiting for the end-of-summer clothing sales because those are the only clothes I'll be needing. So what am I spending my money on? Food and riding the Bart to and from work (only $1.40 each way), and now I just window shop at Crate & Barrel. As long as I don't pig out and ride the Bart all around or back and forth to Fremont, I should be in fine shape.

Team Blessings

Making a move from my old company to my present one was one of the greatest decisions I made. I am into my 3rd week at my new job in South San Francisco back in an office environment, working with a great set of people who are not only nice but are big on team-building, on helping each other out without all that corporate bullshit - finally!!

I had reservations about leaving my independent job working from home to be back in an office at a "desk job" working 9 to 5:30 and taking the Bart and shuttle. Admittedly, I went through growing pains that first week and a half and had serious doubts as I adjusted to my new work surroundings. But somewhere deep down, I knew this was a good move when I went to the job interview and met some of these people. And I knew that working with people again on a team working towards common goals together would be good for me instead of the at-home position that I so much appreciated but in which I was starting to feel starkly isolated.

This is good for me. Taking yet another risk to get where I want to be comes full circle and accomplishes so much on all levels, personally, professionally and for my overall well-being.

Importance of Separating Work and Home

I just recently worked from home. It definitely had its perks and independence that I regret giving up at times, but I am happy I made my move back to an office environment for right now mostly because I have given definition to work and home in my life as I live in a studio condo. I was in denial that I could define spaces and "close office" by turning off my work laptop and fax machine, work energy was leaking into my bedroom and was seriously affecting my sleep patterns. I have since left that job for other reasons as well as my ultimate happiness and more money. Now that I travel to work on Bart and shuttle, my work is officially separate, and my home is genuinely a home without any work files or any hints of work life, I refuse to bring work home with me. And happily, my sleep patterns are on a more normal field, I sleep and nap on the shuttle to work too, I am definitely more rested, sleeping peacefully, happy. ZZzzz...zzz.z....

Giada's Coming to San Francisco!

I am also a big fan of Giada deLaurentis of "Everyday Italian" on the Food Channel, and she is coming to the San Francisco Union Square Borders on May 2nd. I will be there with my cookbook for her to sign! I am SO excited!!