Signs of Love

You know you are in love when "Sex and the City" just does not mean the same thing to you anymore, when movies like "Bridget Jones" no longer speak to you, when love songs sound different all of the sudden and they take on a whole new life. You know you are in love when all that bitterness of all past relationships gone wrong falls away and pure forgiveness replaces it. You know you are in love when you have no inclination to call those other numbers, when you look at them as real friends with a smile of peace. There is definitely something different and light in my step these days.

Little Did I Know

I was waiting for my friend to connect her flight to San Jose, Costa Rica last April, so to kill time I struck up a conversation with an older couple who shared with me the little snack table where I was standing. They were Americans, ex-patriates - hmmm, interesting. I asked them how they sustain themselves in this country - they are retired, have saved for this, travel all year long all around the world. Is there anything you cannot get here that you can only get in the U.S. - no, there's a variety of food here available, the country is small that you can get around and get what you need if it's not in your immediate area, the only thing they can't seem to find is good quality bed sheets - bed sheets? Wow, everything else is attainable. The American, ex-patriate couple looked tanned, relaxed, not an ounce of stress in their faces or demeanor. I remember wanting what they have, and wondering if I could possibly make it happen. Little did I know, but less than a year later, I am doing my research and working to get to my love, a new life, a new beginning - a life that was accidentally discovered, stumbled upon via love - wild, absolutely wild. I wish I could talk to that same couple again to gain more insights, but I have my wits about me and a will to move forward. Small changes are falling into place, decisions are being made. I can do this.

He Would be So Proud

It is a lazy rainy Saturday, so I decided to try to make risotto with broccoli this afternoon just as I had seen Giuliano make it a few times while he was here with me. Now risotto takes some patience as it takes something like half an hour to cook and you need to constantly stir it making sure to add a little water every so often as the liquids evaporate during the cooking process. Woo, it stressed me out a little, enough to warrant a beer! Ha! Anyway, the flavoring of it probably is not as good as Giuliano's, but I like it. I wrote to him all about it, and I am sure he will be smiling and proud of my efforts as he knows I struggle as a cook being the pseudo-Trader Joe's cook that I am. Hee hee.

P.S. 1/30/06 - He is so very proud of me! So much that now he wants me to cook for him when I go to Costa Rica next month - oh no, what have I done? ;) Hee hee.

I Got You Babe - Sonny & Cher

HER: They say we're young and we don't know
We won't find out until we grow
HIM: Well I don't know if all that's true
'Cause you got me, and baby I got you

HIM: Babe
BOTH: I got you babe
I got you babe

HER: They say our love won't pay the rent
Before it's earned, our money's all been spent
HIM: I guess that's so, we don't have a pot
But at least I'm sure of all the things we got

HIM: Babe
BOTH: I got you babe
I got you babe

HIM: I got flowers in the spring
I got you to wear my ring
HER: And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always around

HER: Don't let them say your hair's too long
'Cause I don't care, with you I can't go wrong
HIM: Then put your little hand in mine
There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb

HIM: Babe
BOTH: I got you babe
I got you babe

HIM: I got you to hold my hand
HER: I got you to understand
HIM: I got you to walk with me
HER: I got you to talk with me
I got you to kiss goodnight
I got you to hold me tight
I got you, I won't let go
I got you to love me so

BOTH: I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe
I got you babe

Fly Butterfly Fly

It Starts with a Book

It started out as a typical trip to Borders to leaf through mindless magazines and sip a mocha with whipped cream, but I found myself wandering over to the travel section in search of a book or something to enlighten my recent dream to be realized of moving to Costa Rica to my love, Giuliano, something to make it more real, a key to clearing my confusion, give it to me straight, let me know what I need to know about making this move with my life, realistically, in my dreams, can I do it? I think I can, I think I can. This book and my much loved "Travelers' Tales Central America" may give me what I need right now as I am a do'er, not a talker. One step forward.

Mini Roadtrip

I drove 260+ miles today from San Francisco to Merced and back for some work, but I actually didn't mind as exhausted as I am now because the road helps to clear my head. My head that has been sort of dizzy and winded from recovering from bronchitis a la antibiotics. I think best in the shower, on the treadmill and on the road on long stretches of freeway, namely the 580, 205, 5, 120 and 99 freeways today - woo! Lots of changes are in store for me, and I can't begin to sort it out in my head. I'm going to have to start making phone calls, asking questions, writing things down and going towards the direction I want to go, break it down break it down break it down.

Flight Patterns - Chicago

1/23 UA Flight 906 leaves SFO 10:45 AM arrives O'Hare 4:56 PM
1/24 UA Flight 863 leaves O'Hare 6:30 PM arrives SFO 9:01 PM

Amazing Life This Is - Part II

"I love you" - "I love you too"!! He's off on a plane to Costa Rica. Smile, wave...What an amazing month we spent together, walking all over San Francisco, taking the cable car, holding hands, talking, seeing San Francisco through experienced and new eyes, walking across the Golden Gate Bridge with him, strolling along beaches, capturing it all through pictures and sharing them with friends along the way, eating his wonderful Italian cooking everyday, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, dessert, take a shower in the morning and then I come out with steaming Italian coffee and breakfast waiting for me everyday! He left me a little meat red sauce in a bowl in the fridge - on accident on purpose? - so I had a little bit more of his tasty cooking today with spaghetti...ahhh.... :) Thank you, my love.

His visit was in perfect timing with the holidays as we were closed between Christmas and New Years with an extra few days off, work was slow, perfect timing. Also, via dinner parties, individual cooked dinners, house invites, visits from out of town, Giuliano got to meet alot of friends whom I consider very important in my life. So happy for that as they have all heard about him over the last year, and now they have met him in person and experienced his fine Italian cooking. Waved good-bye to him at the airport with a bit of drama as he was supposed to leave at 12:30 AM on the 20th not the 21st - oops! But I would've gladly paid another $100 for him to stay one more day. Plans to see him again in Costa Rica in early March, I can barely wait, letting work distract me as much as possible, making possible plans to move out of this country. It's all a bit overwhelming, daunting but pretty damn exciting!

Upon returning from the airport, winded and tired, a pink post-it saying "I LOVE YOU!! KISS" stuck to my computer sent me into tears but solidified the fact that this is all worth it. I love you too, KISS!!

Dinner Party # 2

Giuliano and I had our 2nd little dinner party this past Saturday for friends who were coming from out of town and for friends who could not make it to our first dinner party on the 7th. It was a more intimate party than our first; we had such a wonderful time as well with my good friends. Giuliano made his pizza - mushroom and olive - from scratch and his gnocchi with two sauces - creamy mushroom and red meat sauce, and this time we had cheese plate appetizers - fontina, parmesan and gorganzola with a honey nut mix, and fried pizza dough wrapped with prosciutto, tiramisu made by moi supervised by Giuliano complete with green tea cake and muscat - yum! Friends came who had met at a time before or who worked together so faces were familiar, conversations were flowing, and Giuliano and I had more time to spend with our guests which was a really great treat. And this time, I snapped pictures throughout the evening to capture the preparation process through the aftermath. Grazie all from coming!

Dinner with Giuliano and Me

Giuliano and I had our first dinner party together here at my place last night complete with Giuliano's pizzas *from scratch!* - mushroom, artichoke and olives, gnocchi with two different sauces *from scratch too!* - white creamy mushroom and red meat, salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, red and white wine, homemade cookies and cheesecake. Thematics with a slideshow of my changing San Francisco view, Giuliano's paintings and drawings of a rose, Costa Rican butterfly, me posed a bit inappropriately, Brazilian boats, flowers, assymetrical shapes, video of Sicily, lounge music and later a movie "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Italian coffee, cream and sugar. Robert, Gina and Adriana, Winnie and Steve, Connie, Tammy and Rose, Meriza and Jason, Liza and Christine joined me and Giuliano to meet him and enjoy his tasty Italian cooking and the company of others - it was a wonderful evening spent together with my love and my friends. I even forgot to take pictures because I was having such a nice time with everyone! Grazie!

His Eye for Detail

Giuliano is an artist, a painter, draws, colors both within and outside of the lines - his eye for detail is amazing in sketches of pictures I have of New Orleans, Costa Rican blue morpho butterflies, my sleeping silhouette, illustrating for me some of his life stories, his pictures of Brazilian boats on beaches have movement and motion that could only be captured by a true artist with an amazing eye for the details of life.

Everyone Should Have This

I haven't written here in a long time because, well, I've been busy in a very good way with my Italian love Giuliano in town for at least a month, getting to know each other and discovering what this thing called love is really all about in real time, reality, right here, right now. It's unbelievable as it unfolds right in front of our eyes, so clear and obvious as we ebb and flow towards a future that is ours. We can both see it and it is in our hands. We are stepping forward together, hand in hand, arms around each other, no fear in sight. It is amazing, it is truly amazing.